132 billion · annoyance · ASUU · Federal Government · Michael Jackson · skelewu · strike

132 Billion Thoughts About the ASUU Strike (Part 1)

     I know, I know….. I have to stop these disappearing acts of mine. The thing is I’ve been suffering from a severe lack of motivation until recently, when my ‘eureka!’ moment came while laboring over a pot of semovita. A lot of Nigerian undergraduates can probably relate to what I’ve been feeling –albeit in different degrees- thanks to the ASUU strike. We have reached that critical point in our nation when the government really can’t be bothered about the education of our generation. Really though, what more do you expect when the commander-in-chief himself “had no shoes to go to school”? ASUU has refused to resume negotiations until their 132 billion naira demand is met. Thus, I have decided to write a 132 billion piece of my mind about this foolishness.
    The full impact of the strike hit me earlier this week when I heard the news about Davido’s skelewu contest. I’m not particularly a fan of the association of misdirection and wannabes known as the Nigerian entertainment industry, but this sparked my interest. Apparently, skelewu is a dance step featured in one of his music videos and he created a challenge: beat my dance and I’ll give you a $3,000 (three thousand dollars) prize. Our country, being the land of the free, the mad rush began on YouTube and all social media. Anyone with a video recorder and a  2 × 2 space became a choreographer overnight. Please NOTE that more than 80% of the participants are university undergraduates at home with nothing to do.
     At least they have something cooking right? The first six weeks of the strike, I was like a walking zombie. Ok, maybe not the AIDS infested looking ones from Thriller. But when your days are defined by sleep, food, TV, internet, more food and sleep, what else can you call yourself? Now, I absolutely hate chores on a normal day –doesn’t mean I don’t do them. At the height of boredom though, I find my alter ego. She’s sanitation fierce! Dusting, washing, mopping, cooking, you name it. I do it all with a vengeance. Trust mothers; mine takes advantage of this side of me. Can you blame her though? It’s not every day that one finds a professional house help –for free. And when I tire of befriending germs, the olounje in me surfaces. Whaaat?? I love my food. It’s amazing how fast time flies when your clock is a jar of Nutella chocolate spread. You don’t need a prophesy to tell you what this is going to do to your waist line after some time. Yes, I have gained some extra flesh that I do not need right now. I like to think of it as a biological case of inertia (it’s good to know that year of physics before I regained my senses was not in vain). Apparently, my body’s metabolism has also gone on strike. 
    This is what ASUU and the government are doing to me o. and that’s not all.
To be continued……

3 thoughts on “132 Billion Thoughts About the ASUU Strike (Part 1)

  1. Bravo! I personally decided to embark on my own strike of late… My fingernails have suffered th greatest hit scrubbing pots and pans but the better part I've had time to learn to prepare my favorite delicacy.
    Notwithstanding, no FG can hold this young lady down; I'm dropping all the fun things I love not to do at home and heading back to school.#enthusiastic #mountain #mohammed.

  2. Great write-up. I absolutely agree. I've gained weight which I don't need now. Keep up hon.

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