Soul Sista

What It Is To Be Her


    A female or a daughter in every household is expected to perform certain duties and fulfill certain expectations at different stages of her life. She owes a responsibility to her parents, siblings (if any), family, friends, the society and her husband. How she manages to juggle all of this without caving under its enormous pressure is known to Allah alone.
    We want to satisfy these people, please our Lord and at the same time beautify our soul and body. You would agree that this is a herculean task most especially if you are the first child of your family. How then do we manage these responsibilities without leaving a stone unturned, not even ourselves? Let’s find out.
    The birth of a daughter is a source of joy in most homes in the modern world, especially for the mother. In her daughter, she has found a companion and a best friend. The father has found a new source of joy and happiness. The daughter grows up realizing this and tries to make sure she repays them by satisfying them in almost all ways. Then that monster called adolescence sets in and things fall apart.
    The parents believe they know it all and expect that the experiences they’ve had are the same with that of their daughter. The daughter wonders how her parents could suddenly turn from caring and loving to ‘busy bodies’ and autocrats. She rebels by fighting, insulting and engaging in all sorts of violence. Eventually, all hell breaks loose and the daughter loses her loving parents and the parents their loving child.

Soon –to –be mothers, it is good to know that all of these can be easily prevented if you just take some tips from the following:

Love your daughter unconditionally.

Build for her a trust in herself and her parents.

Ensure that she believes in herself. Her self-esteem is very important.

Correct her gently for her mistakes. We won’t be human without them. NB: The reign of beating is over.

As she grows, take her into your confidence (gradually o! Don’t overdo it). This will make her feel loved and cherished and she will discuss her thoughts with you in return. You wouldn’t need to ask.

From the age of 12, (please note how fast your daughter matures), treat her like a lady not a girl and start “gisting” with her. As a result, when the first boy comes gallivanting into her life, you are both prepared.  NB: Please don’t call her names or insult her by telling her she invited the advance from the opposite sex. Let her know that it is a stage in growing up, guide the answers and reaction to the opposite sex and she would be yours forever.

Tell her often enough that she is pretty and assist her in looking after her appearance. Every girl likes to feel and look like a princess.

On the whole, treat her like she is an egg that must be boiled just right. Don’t overdo or underdo it, it always has repercussions.

I hope mothers, daughters, mothers-to-be, etc will pick a thing or two from this. Maashallah, we shall continue our discussions soon.

Questions and comments are welcomed. Enter them in the comment box below, or mail them to



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